Jimism: Would you find it appropriate…

This past spring, Jim and I discovered that our very own neighbor leads an amazing Sunday hike in a different beautiful area of Utah.  I am sad to say we haven’t become regulars, but we’ve had some pretty memorable experiences. In the end of April, we hiked Bells Canyon, and it was treacherous! In fact, we didn’t even make it up to the upper falls area because those of us without snowshoes or cramps couldn’t physically make it up there.  But, we made it to the lower (and more impressive falls) and had a great time.  On this hike, I realized just how attractive Jim found me… 

Armed with nothing but a zip up hoodie, thin hiking pants and Nikes (with ankle socks), you can imagine  my discomfort when the trail started to get really snowy and icy.  Men and women twice my age were flying up the hill with their cramp ons and walking sticks while poor Jim hiked behind me, hands permanently cupping my sliding ass.  No worries, the way down is what I really needed to worry about.  

The afternoon sun made the hike down incredibly slick.  Steve, our neighbor and fearless leader told us to be  careful as a 14 year old kid slipped and hit his head on a rock on this very trail just the weekend before.  He had to be air lifted out.  So, every time I slid (which was a lot) I would say (yell), “I don’t wanna be that kid!” So after a few moments of quiet hiking, Jim says, “OK, hypothetical question here: if you slipped and hit your head and it was obvious that you would die by the time I got out of this canyon and got you some help, and you were laying there, dying…would you find it appropriate that I had sex with you one last time?” He asked this question in such a serious tone, I just about slid on purpose to take him out.

Here’s the kicker: when I told Jim just the other day that I was digging this out of my ‘Jimism’ folder (yes I have one in my Outlook) to post on my blog he said, “yeah but be sure to mention that the deal was that you’d be unconscious”.  My future husband, ladies and gentlemen.

Phoenix, anyone?

Here is my amateur review on last night’s Phoenix concert at In the Venue here in SLC.

In a word, fabulous.  High energy, great crowd connection and they are one of those bands that sound just like, if not better than their album.  They started out with a crowd pleasing Lisztomania, continued with about an hour long set and concluded with an extended version of 1901 as their final encore song.  Right away front man Thomas Mars jumps into the crowd and sings for a few minutes while a bunch of hipsters touch his face and hair…pretty funny actually. 

After a few songs they break into their instrumental North, and Mars decides to take a snooze. He literally lays down, props his head on a speaker and looks like he’s gonna pass out.  At this point I am fairly convinced that the man is on something. The later microphone swing right into his face confirms this. But still, even on autopilot the guy is magnificent.    

The band’s Wikipedia page only lists four member (who were in the front of the stage the whole time), but a drummer they had last night was off the hook.  The amount of brain cells lost as a result of his exaggerated body movements must have been massive.  But the crowd loved it. His name is Thomas Hedlund and he is insane.

Not to be considered out for the count, Mars resurfaces and climbs up on top of a speaker and sings a few versus…I thought he was going to fall off the entire time.  And before we know it, the show is over. 

The encore started out with two slower songs performed by just Mars and guitarist Christian Mazzalai (Everything is Everything and Playground Love).  Then they brought out the rest of the band for the Jamiroquai sounding If I Ever Feel Better and conclude with a crowd surfing, extended version of 1901. Fabulous.   

I should probably give love to opener Neon Indian, a chillwave band whose debut album Psychic Chasms is considered one of the best albums of 2009.  I’ll definitely be downloading that.

An Oldie but Goodie

This is a Jimism original.  The following took place about 4 months after I moved to SLC and in with Jim…

I had been having the nasty tummy and heartburn symptoms again and so I got tested for h. pylori (the bacteria causing this problem the previous year) and it was positive. I went to a specialist to get the medication and she said that the bacteria stays in your system for up to two years after treatment and that the only way to really test if it is causing a problem is a stool sample...have you ever had to give one of these? Cause I walked out of the lab carrying THIS, and I have to “go” in it, refrigerate it and bring it back! Did you know that Jim doesn’t acknowledge that I go number 2? What will this do to our relationship?!

When I got home I told Jim all of this and he was like, "You are NOT putting your poop in our refrigerator". I said this was important for my health and he said this was important for our relationship. I told him it would only be a walnut sized portion and in a bag that was not see through. He told me to do it at work! I said I'd get fired if I put my poop in the work refrigerator! Anyway, I told him to stuff it and he took the dog out to go to the bathroom. He came back with a five pound bag of Molly shit and said, "I'm just going to stick this in the refrigerator, is that ok"? I was cooking so I was yelling at him to get it out of my face and he said, "Please? It’s just a walnut sized portion". So, clearly Jim sees the humor in this awful, awful dilemma and so I think our relationship is safe...until I have to "go".

I've been told I have Vivd Dreams...

I’ve been told I have very vivid dreams compared to the average Joe.  Last night was proof of this.

I am at some sort of camp where we run and hike and bound about gigantic deserted homes (this must have been stirred up by Darcie’s announcement yesterday that she intends on climbing Mt. Everest).  Anyway, at the camp “orientation” I run into two girlfriends from high school who, except for the occasional FB stalking, I don’t talk to anymore.  We try to reignite our friendship but they feel that they should tell me that they think I used to stalk one of them. As in, try to be like her. Their reasoning? I was the yearbook editor senior year (false) and she was the yearbook editor in 8th grade.  Also, I apparently own some of the same clothing. I know, weird, but in my dream world I am overcome with that old familiar feeling of not being in the “in crowd” a teenage girl feels when she is in high school.

So we head out on the day’s activity: a ten mile run through the wilderness broken up by a maze inside a gigantic wooden mansion.  The entire run, I am bombarded with “he said she said” gossip about my apparent feud with the two girls who accused me of stalking.  Then, the day is done, yay! But, despite the fact that we are all over the legal age, no alcohol is allowed in our dorms.  Ugh, this must be the nightmare of hard times passed.  So, Melanie gets the idea (apparently from her college days, which is odd because her college days are going on right now and not in a dorm), that we should hide the bottle of gin (I HATE GIN), in a pizza box and pretend it is a pizza delivery. That would have worked if we hadn’t devised this plan right in front of the RA standing at the entrance.  

The dream gets sort of fuzzy here (it must have been interrupted by my dog Molly’s desperate need to pee at 3:30 this AM), but I know it sort of ends at my Papa’s house in his backyard and he is smoking a Marlboro red…and he doesn’t smoke…   

Party of the year and, a pedophile?

Jim and I successfully pulled off our second annual Fall party on Saturday night.  This year’s theme was “Back to School”.  We were decked out in our Catholic best and feasted on Twinkies and PB&J with the crusts cut off.  I would say we had at least 70 people show up and a fair amount of little back to schoolers, which was good because I went overboard at Michael’s planning for our activity corner.  All in all I would say everyone had a great time.  But, what is a party without a little drama?

Our friend, who will remain nameless was guilted into allowing her weird neighbor accompany her to the party.  Right off the bat I knew this guy was a total D-bag.  He strolls in and puts his motorcycle helmet on top of my refrigerator.  I tell him, “I’ll put that in the guest room for you where everyone else’s things are”.  He replies, “nope it’s fine right here”.  I maintain, “I think it might fall on someone if they were to open the fridge”. He insists. I give up and just wait for him to leave the kitchen before I move it to the guest room.  Throughout the night I hear people wondering who the weird, overly talkative guy is and I just laugh and give our nameless friend shit for bringing such a character.  But then our sweet, 14 year old friend Annie comes into the kitchen and asks me for WHISKEY!  The sound of a record screeching goes off in my head and I say, “what the hell do you want whiskey for? HAVE YOU BEEN DRINKING”? Ok, maybe I had been drinking but that is beside the point. She says no and that “the dude outside is asking for it”. I knew right away who the “dude” was and said to tell him, “hell no I don’t have any whiskey”.  Then I think better of that and decide to go outside and tell him myself and here is what I find: creepy guy (his name has been upgraded from weird to creepy at this point) is sitting at the activity corner table with Annie and three of her 14 year old friends drawing pictures and making them all laugh.  And around them are adults in small circles clearly wondering what this dude is doing.  So our friend T. who is a lawyer decides to find out for herself and basically tells the guy to stop flirting with the 14 year olds and grow up.  Another record screeches.  The girls are clearly embarrassed and leave the backyard.  T. also leaves shortly after.  Then, creepy guy comes up to me and says, “can I talk to you”? Shit. Annie comes back at this point and he snags her too.  Damnit.  He complains about T.'s apparent “character assassination” and then has the nerve to say to me, “I couldn’t find anyone interesting to talk to at your party so I thought I’d talk to these guys”.  We banter back and forth a bit before our friend Tessa says, “hey, isn’t this a back to school party? Everyone gets talked about in high school”! Which makes everyone laugh and seems to diffuse the growing tension between me and creepy guy.  

I could go on but this sums it up.  Shortly after he leaves and as he retrieves his helmet from our guestroom I urge him to drive safe (drinking and driving is a no no but adding a motorcycle is insane) and he says, “thanks, and don’t worry, I won’t tell the cops where I came from”. Classy.

Reason to love SLC #1

They have an awesome GAY PRIDE!

Finding out about and attending the SLC Pride Festival was my #4 top moment of 2009. Seriously, it was, here's the email where my friend Megan asks me and I answer with:

From: Nuckels, Dawn-Marie
Sent: Friday, January 08, 2010 9:32 AM
To: Megan Kerseg
Subject: RE:

That is so cute! What are your top five??

Hmmm, this was easier than I thought, mine are:

1.      Engagement

2.      Buying the house

3.      Dexter

4.      Gay Pride in SLC

5.      Getting accepted into grad school

See the date of the email? 1/8/10, baby. 



That's my hairstylist!



What an amazing day Pride was.  We had just bought our house and invited our (very new) friends over to decorate our bikes with rainbow streamers while drinking mimosas and listening to Abba.  We rode downtown to watch the show and it POURED rain.  We were drenched, the float riding queens were drenched and everyone was having an absolute blast.  I think what makes Salt Lake City's Pride Festival really special is that it isn't easy to be an out gay or lesbian in this state and so those of us who love it, stick together.

Jim with friends Darcie and Josh.

We've been robbed. Let's start now...

I've wanted to start a blog for nearly two years now.  I moved to Salt Lake City from Sunny San Diego in August of 2008 and did so much venting that first year!  During the first six months or so, I had a weekly "reason to love SLC" to help me open up to the idea of living in what I thought was going to be a conservative nightmare.  I will share that list on this blog soon. 

Then, I started noticing the funny things my fiancé, Jim would say to me and was urged to start a blog based on these hilarious retorts.  Again, laziness prevailed.  But I plan on sharing that stuff on this blog too.

THEN, I became overwhelmed by the amazing people I've met in the good 'ole SLC and wanted to blog about the constant humbling I feel being surrounded by such wonderful people.  Your getting the pattern here I think...

BUT THEN, I was robbed.  Completely robbed.  They came, they saw, they took: jewelry (ALL OF IT), laptop, purses (all the good ones), Wii games, and even, ahem, relationship enhancers!  And although I was devastated over this...I think the aforementioned wonderful things that have happened to me over the past two years lessened the blow.  Sure a few tears were shed, especially after we noticed that Jim's proposal to me was taken, but we are healthy, happy and our (crappy) guard dog is safe and sound. So I thought, what better time to start that damn blog??

I gotta say, getting robbed did have some perks.  I got out of work for a few days running all over town.  I got gifts from dear friends who helped us replace some of the stolen items.  And my girl Emily gave us a "you've been robbed!" survival kit complete with a book of affirmations and a bottle of wine!

Anyway, I guess what has also gotten in the way of starting this blog is that I wasn't really sure anyone would want to read it...no better way to find out then to jump in, right?