Yes we went to museums, yes we went to the Red Light District, yes we took a canal tour…but if you want to really get to know a city: go to its local gay bar. The gays are liberal, friendly, happy and love them an American girl (even if they keep saying, “oh dahling, you are soooo American!”).
We passed by De Engel Van Amsterdam our first night in Amsterdam. The gorgeous blonde drag queen singing Abba in a crowd of men lured me in there. Jim followed me in and while I want to call him a “good sport” at this point, the truth is he wanted to go in just about as badly as I did. The bar’s main tender (the skinny bald guy in the photos on the night tours guide webpage) was passing around hors d’oeurves on a big silver platter and everyone was dancing and singing along. Fabulous. We went out to the terrace (as we were a bit jet lagged to participate in all the fun) and asked an adorable older couple to take our photo. They argued in Dutch over which angle to shoot us from which made us laugh incredibly hard. We knew we’d be back.
Two nights later we were back and had such an amazing time that I believe I was saying that the whole day and night was “the best day ever, right?” to Jim our entire walk back to the hotel. This is the night that we met Armin. The man was in an (incredibly soft) blazer with cats all over it. So when he told us he was a designer, you could imagine what we thought. Turns out the coat was a gag gift for a friend who refused to wear it so he sports it. Armin’s designs are FABULOUS. In fact, we had admired his shop window nearly every day not knowing it’s owner was about to become our favorite Dutch gay. Armin answered all of the questions we had about Holland:
So physician assisted suicide is legal here? – Not exactly. They’ll help you but won’t kill you. (Jim actually debated this with him and seems to think that this is inaccurate).
What is the social status of those girls in the windows through the Red Light District? – They are whores. But they make a lot of money, some of them are my clients.
Gay marriage is legal? – Yes, but honey, don’t get married.
We noticed that in order to use most restrooms you need to climb a creepy steep flight of stairs. This city doesn’t seem to accommodate people with disabilities very well, why is that? Do people with disabilities seek out physician assisted suicide? (kind of an attempt at a joke) – They stay at home. Try rolling a wheelchair down this cobblestone. Eh, that’s life.
How much would one pay to rent a two bedroom apartment in Amsterdam? – For you? 1200 Euro. For me? 600 Euro.
How much does the average Joe make a month here? – You mean like burger flipper? About 900 Euro but the government gives up to 300 Euro a month in housing aide. You Americans see this as lazy, accepting government aide.
Not entirely true, but there are some lazy people collecting government aide in America. – See, you’re so American! You think these people are lazy, who are you to measure their ambition levels?
I didn’t say they were all lazy…nevermind. Moving on…
Too much fun. A man named Nunu (to which Jim introduced himself as Jim Jim which prompted Nunu to say, “that sounds Asian!”) and his boyfriend of the night, Dennis also joined us this particular evening. Nunu was just too sweet for words, and upon hearing that I am from the San Francisco area he gushed about how much he loves it. He then told us about a US road trip he went on and wondered what was wrong with Nevada that made it so ugly. Jim said, “ you mean like Winnemucca?” and Nunu said, “YES! I stomped a cigarette out at a gas station in Winnemucca!”At this point it was getting very late and I told Jim we should head home.
Armin pulled me aside and said, “look at him? Does that look like a man who wants to leave?”
Armin pulled me aside and said, “look at him? Does that look like a man who wants to leave?”
